this weekend i saw some kids driving down the sidewalk in a toy jeep and i thought to myself, “that would be fun. they should make an adult version” until i realized what i was thinking of was just cars. we already have an adult version of toy jeeps. it’s called a jeep.


I heard if you whisper “alright alright alright” 3 times in front of a mirror Matthew McConaughey appears and gives your career a makeover while spouting metaphorical life philosophies.